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2013 – a damn good start – Maple-Bacon and Brie Butties

January 3, 2013

Happy New Year!  Here’s to a fantastic 2013, a year already being lauded as three hundred and sixty-five painful days of austerity, possible recession, no Olympics, war and general peril – at least according to the interesting specimens who comment on Yahoo! UK’s articles.  For the rest of us, 2013 is a year of opportunity, a year to show the rest of the world that 2012 was not a one-hit wonder for Great Britain, that a British driver can win the World Championship, that economic growth will return with gusto and that the Gulf Stream will keep blowing for at least another twelve months.

Off the back of this, we are of course, in resolution territory.  I refrain from this behaviour as frankly I have my own work goals which keep me more than a little busy, so let’s just say that for me, resolution one of one will be to erm…

Move to the US, no, buy a Maserati, nah, bring back Jonathan Creek, oh! lose some weight-

Yes!  The last one.  Now, one popular strategy to lose weight is to have a decent breakfast – and another important step in the right direction is to remove all unhealthy items from the kitchen.  So, this morning I decided to start losing weight by making Maple-Bacon and Brie Butties; thus having a great breakfast and running myself out of tasty bad things in the larder.

Acquaintances get pissed off at me a little bit as I constantly say that everything is ‘the best thing in the world’.  My current top five best things in the world are, in no particular order:

  1. Brie
  2. Bacon
  3. Maple Syrup
  4. Opposites Attract’ by Paula Abdul
  5. My giraffe onesie

It is great that I can combine three of these into one sandwich; a food offering of such simple simplicity and tasty tastefulness that it could actually be better than oxygen, and easier to make.


  • Big soft buns (no jokes please)
  • Butter
  • Maple syrup
  • Bacon (I personally favour smoked streaky ‘SS’ bacon)
  • Brie
  • Sausage (for no other purpose other than to garnish)


  • Seriously?  Do you need a method? Well, start by turning on a grill or the oven.  If you’re doing this thing properly, you’ll need that later.
  • Slice the rolls and drip-drop maple syrup into the surface so it soaks in.  Oh yes, please!
  • Butter the rolls.
  • Fry off the bacon in a non-stick pan with only a little oil – I find that for SS bacon, four slices per butty is extremely important.
  • Slice the brie – enough to cover each roll.
  • I find that to rest the bacon on kitchen roll makes it more flavoursome and less oily.  Add the brie to the bacon, drizzle with a touch more maple syrup and use the oven/grill to melt.  No-one likes un-melted brie.  It’s like a car with no petrol.
  • Whilst the brie and bacon become awesome, use the same pan used for the bacon and fry off the buns.  It should turn into lovely syrupy fried bread.
  • Finally, turn it into a sandwich.  I garnished them with a slice of sausage on a cocktail stick because I bloody felt like it, alright?  Serve with a coffee, Diet Coke and a fat glass of fresh orange.

And finally, finally…

Enjoy.  In a giraffe onesie.  Listening to Paula Abdul (or better still, watching the video).  And for heaven’s sake, start your diet tomorrow.

Mike Dalley, January 2013

One Comment leave one →
  1. Daddio permalink
    January 3, 2013 2:23 pm

    Don’t forget to clean the bloody kitchen up

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